Back from holidays.

I am back. I had a great time with the fam.

and can I just say that I love little kiddies? I got to share a bed with my cousins little guy who is 3. And he is the cutest 3 year old ever. He would snuggle into me at night and place his hand on my cheek. ( this is where you insert the awwwwwwwwwwww......)

I have an incredible family, we are complex yes, we have our differences, but we have soooooo much fun and I am so very grateful to be a part of that family unit.

Part way through the week of holidays I had a bit of a down day. I guess it was that I finally stopped long enough to let some of the things that I have been through in the last 10 months catch up to me.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am blessed. So very blessed. I have grown over the past year more than I possibly could have imagined. I have been stretched and tried to the point where I thought I would break. Many times.

I am grateful for a father in heaven who loves me enough to sometimes cut me down in order to help build me up in the manor which is best for me.

But somedays it's hard. Somedays I struggle with accepting where I am and what my heart desires more than anything. I want a family and someone to share my life with. I would give up everything I have right now to have that.

But I know I must remain faithful, look towards the blessings that I have and know that I am being prepared. And when the time is right those blessings, hopes, and wishes will be fufilled.

Those desires are righteous desires of my heart and I know the Lord knows that. He loves me and will guide me to where I need to be.

So today i am trying to focus on enjoying where I am right now. What I have been given in this moment and trying to remember that I must grow and learn in the Lord's time and not in my own.